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Completely just disgusted with these people and the way I am used and being treated as if I am just something to throw away from the world. Then again, what’s new? As the entire world has been doing this to me too for almost my entire life.
It’s quite easy to assume that is the life I have chosen to be a part of, or to judge me for the things that are happening in my life and to me. It’s been like this, too, since the time in my life that I have more memories of.

One of my baby dads has been trying to kill me, and he’s legit just about to be successful with the objective.
But, I’m stuck in his presence every single day because when I have went to get help with it.. I am laughed at and told to go back to treatment.
And this has been happening for 9 years now. I haven’t spoke to my own family in years now, and I have been staying in the same town for quite a while now.
I don’t know what to say to the world to make them look at what is really happening to me, but I don’t even know how much longer I will be in the same universe now.
I have no idea what’s happening with my life, my family’s life, or anything else that is going on. I’ve been stuck inside a bubble for a very long time and I have been really trying hard to reach out to someone but it is nearly impossible.
This is the truth.

I have got to be living in the twilight area. I cannot believe I am still in the same situation I’ve been in for years now & i am expected to be living a great life, a smile on my face, and just be comfortable with it.
I’m fucking miserable! I live hotel to hotel room for years in the same area as the ones who raised me, in my own hometown. Yet I haven’t seen or spoke with anyone in years now during a time where I needed them the most.
Not only that, but I am not important enough to get a hold of to let me know about a death of someone close to me. I have tried, God knows I’ve tried to get a hold of them and be in their lives but I don’t know what the issue is with it.
Where are my children!? Where are you all?! Like for real, I am beyond disappointed.

I guess I clearly don’t know what to say or do about anything going on with me. I have someone in my life who has made it their entire mission of the entire universe to make sure my life is horrible and unable to even take a breath or do anything. At all. And this is not even a millionth of the actual truth.
It’s been a long process of consistent chaos for years now and still I don’t know what the hell is going on or why I am going through this. All I know is that I miss my life and the people who had been in it before. Now I have someone who has made themselves into my life to a point of them acting, meeting with people, and has made an entire life out of them being me. And it’s so difficult to even be in my own area of the world and where I grew up because of this one.
And I am going through so many difficult things with my own children in the world of this… And i dont know what to even do when I have absolutely everything stolen from me every single time I get anything to drive, wear, eat, have. Nothing.
I can’t even turn around without them trying to kill me.
I’m beyond done with the world and the people who have been in this and using my own children, my own family, and my personal belonging, knowing me and who I am… And still have the audacity to ignore it and go with it.

This has completely ruined my life, I can’t talk to anyone, and I don’t have anything for anything anymore. They’ve stolen absolutely everything from me. And everyone allowed them to do it right in front of all of us.

Fuck you guys. THESE ARE MY OWN FRIENDS, MY OWN CHILDREN, MY OWN FAMILY. Everyone! What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!?

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving Birthday to You Too, I love you all so very much for a wonderful time with the family that I don’t have anymore. I hope you’re able to eat some great UNpoisoned food while sitting at your lovely welcoming homes with the people you fucking hate. With enough money in your rigged bank accounts to talk about how you obtained it legally & safely.
This hotel room is lovely, bed is extra warm while I lay down next to someone who I don’t know after waking up in a unwell, drugged stuper. This way I feel isn’t something I have brought upon my own, as I was drugged/put down while I lay underneath the ones that are not my people. Just so they can fuck each other and myself in the asshole. While I lay unconscious and oblivious to what is happening with my lifeless body because of the extremely difficult understanding of necrophilia that one of the ass hole fucks has in his mind.
It’s been three solid years straight of this ass hole fucking and if you can imagine what my ass hole looks like because of this fetish that is not my fault, not my own, and I desperately try every single day to get away from.. but my voice seems to go unheard..
I’ll continue to think of all of you sitting at your lovely homes at a beautiful table that has been entertaining you and your family that you love oh so much
Because I’ve not seen my own for years now. Not spoke with them. Nothing.
I’m sitting at the beautiful Red Carpet with an unpaid hotel room bill because on of the ass hole fucks decided to help himself out to my account.
Happy Fucking Thanksgiving Birthday.

💯
I need to remember this. If I can, of course.

To the one who is always waiting for me to do something….I don’t know what you want for me to do!?
I don’t get the messages or whatever it is that you are letting me know that you are waiting on me..

What the fuck is going on that’s causing me to not get the chance to do anything!?

I cannot express enough about how much frustration I have for all of you!!
Why the FUCK are you still doing this!?
The fact that I am STILL in a room in a hotel in my HOMETOWN and I cannot even contact the world to talk about that, or contact ANYONE to let them know I HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN A ISSUE with the things I am desperately trying to get away from!
TF IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!?

So unbelievably gas lighted to the degree that I am still in a situation where I cannot even get up and walk away.
All because I can’t find a single person to come to my door just to even be able to ask me to go home instead of a situation where I am being told one thing but the universe is showing me another.
I’m beyond over it all.